Judgement Day: the date is set

While some real skeptics abound, notable biblical scholar Harold Camping has determined after a close study of  Scripture that Jesus will be using his return ticket on May 21, 2011. [That’s a Saturday; so much for resting on the Sabbath!]. Camping, who sounds like he’d be good mate of Chris Tilling‘s, has reached this conclusion by juggling the date of Jesus’ crucifixion (previously unknown, but praise be! revealed to Mr Camping as precisely April 1, AD33) with the numbers 5, 10 and 17, which are apparently linked with atonement, completeness and heaven.

The details of the calculation are too wonderful and mysterious to go into here, but the glorious news is that, after 2,000 years of delays and rescheduling, a date has finally been set for the rapture and last judgement. So now is the time to plan your holidays around the event, to empty out your bank account on my Wishlist, and to reach out to the wicked heathen with this sexy bumper sticker.

You can learn more – and pick up your free stickers, postcards, business cards and pocket calendars, and more – here and here.

The only question that remains is: which kind of virgin will you be?

[HT: Ship of Fools]

8 comments

  1. Hmm, fascinating how biblical metaphor and comtemporary economic reality coincide as we get closer to the millenium. Anyway I’m glad it wont be too much longer now, i really could use a rest from my in-laws.

    Like

  2. We can make fun of this situation, but the reality is people like Camping realize that the postmodern church is in grave failure! And as the Body Evangelical right therein, we cannot bury our heads in the ground any longer! We cannot know the exact day, hour or time of the Lord’s Coming, but we can know the “signs”, and one of the first big signs is the Churches fast growing apostasy! (2 Thess, 2:3, etc.) There is a great measure of truth here we cannot deny!

    Like

  3. I don’t suppose there is any hope that the date (the first day of the month of April) of the crucifixion is an indication of some sudden rush of irony to the brain?

    Like

Comments welcome here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.