‘Here It Is’, by Rachel McAlpine

woman at prayerWell to get to the nitty-gritty,
here it is:
I was suddenly sick of praying
to men, for men.
That was the beginning,
the middle and the end.

Ritual: remind myself I am guilty,
wrong, and light in the head.

Orthodox theology and common sense:
yes our Father is sexless,
God is being, God is love,
yes the Holy Spirit is spirit
and Jesus being a Jew
simply had to be male
and he was kind to girls.
Yes I could alter pronouns privately,
yes I am married to God
and have no right to divorce.
Yes Man is metaphor for Woman,
yes I could work within,
yes I could wait a century,
yes it is just as silly
to think of God as Woman –

yet things are right for me
when flesh and spirit agree:
I do not feel included.

One truth is that God the Father
calls mostly to men except
when he wants a cup of tea.

– Rachel McAlpine, ‘Here It Is’, in Selected Poems (Wellington: Mallinson Rendel, 1988), 14.

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